Flowing From My Heart

The words the swim deeply within me
More like the words drowned by what's within me
The words strangled by the fear within me
The words that try to escape me
Guilt so deep
Feelings so strong
Guilt so strong
Feelings so deep
But the tears don't fall anymore...

Still waiting on the euphoria
Waiting for the release
Waiting on the relief
Waiting for the erosion of the memories inscribed on her brain
Waiting on the silencing of her innermost thoughts
She fondles the cash in her hand
Green, warm, soft
She looks to her left
He's still sleep
Still resting
And still at peace
As if all is well w/ the world
She looks back at her hands
Witness them hold the price of her soul
The price of her treasure
The price of her diamonds, rubies, and gold
She's taken back to those moments
And again she sachet
Again the music coursed through her veins
Again she waited for the euphoria
And again it never came
She's taken back to those moments
And again the mattress drowns her
Again the sheets choke her
Again feeling escapes her
As again a guy pokes her
The hot shower could only wash his nameless children off her breasts
But couldn't wash away all the emotion that was on her chest
Still waiting on the euphoria
She fondles the cash in her hands
Insurance money she's collected from the death of her dreams
Hush money for her heart
To silence its piercing screams
Wait...
Just wait...
Wait for the euphoria
Silence becomes her enemy
Time becomes her abuser
Each moment spent becomes part of her nightmare
Still waiting...
Waiting on this to feel right
Waiting for the euphoria
Her fingers dance across the money
The tears cascade down her face
How did she get this way?
How did she get to this place?
How did she become this person?
Then she realizes that it all began...
With her search for euphoria

All I Have To Offer

All I have to offer you
Is standing here before you
So take me as I am
Every inch of my flesh
Drips with anxiety for meeting its master
Undressed and in all its sexual perfection
My body is all I have to offer you
If I had a heart, I'd give it to you
If I had the ability to love you, I would
But all I have to give you
Is my ability to make love to you
I can't give you my heart
My mind
Or my soul
Nor can I give you diamonds
Silver
Or gold
But I can give you my body
To take and do as you please
Because in the end
That's all I have to offer you
Soft when you touch me
Warm when you hold me
Passionate when you make love to me
A memory when you're done with me
Nothing to give for you to take with you
And my body's only as good as the moment you have it
But its all I have to offer you
And its standing here before you
Undressed and in all its sexual perfection
So take me as I am

I dreamed of dying in her arms
I didn't want it to be that way
Didn't want her to lose another one
Yet here it was that I found myself
Dying in her arms
I wanted to reach up
And wipe the tears from her face
It hurt to look in her eyes
Because of the pain burrowed deep within them
I began to feel my breathing grow shallow
And I didn't want her to let me go
Because if I died...
I wanted it to be in her arms
Words struggled to escape me
Then her calm convinved me
That silence was the only expression these last moments needed
I wanted to tell her that I loved her
Wished the best for her
And wanted her to stay strong
Then her touch convinced me
That she understood, and all was well
In this dream, I died in her arms
As her tears moved her to rock
Seemingly rocking me to sleep
To eternal sleep
I didn't want it to be that way
Yet here it was that I found myself
Dying in her arms
And in those last moments
I caught a glimpse of the pain shone deep within her eyes
That would never let me rest