Tomorrow

A new day?
Everything from the past carries over
Awakened to the same drama
Sent to bed feeling the same pain
Living crying the same tears
And facing the same reality
A new day?
Still searching for the same thing
Battling the same desires
Awakened to the same world
Sent to bed to the same hell
Chasing the same dreams
Running away from the same nightmares
A new day?
Searching for the same key
To open the same doors
And lock the same other ones
Pretending to be happy about the same things
For the same people
All the while, really hurting the same way
A new day?
Why do we continue to hold to the same hopes?
To offer up
Anxiously awaiting "Tomorrow" to bring change
Experiencing the same disappointment
From realizing that tomorrow is not really a new day

~D. Renee

'Til Death

"Angels have no thought of ever returning you. Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?"
-Gloomy Sunday by Billie Holiday

Rest in peace
O how I long for rest and peace
My living hours are filled with a search for it
Accompanied by the torturous disappointment of never finding it
Maybe...only 'til death may I attain it

'Til death did us part
Only 'til death will we be back together
My living hours are filled with longing for you
Accompanied by the torturous disappointment of no longer having you
Maybe...only 'til death may I be with you love

Cold numbness
O how I long for cold and numbness
My living hours are spent being in pain
Accompanied by the torturous disappointment of knowing that only more pain is to come
Maybe...only 'til death may my wounds be healed

'Til death did us part
Only 'til death did I know your secret
My living hours are spent trying to understand why
Accompanied by the torturous disappointment of finding out the kind of person you really were
Maybe...only 'til death will my questions be answered

Standing on the line separating life and death
Ready to go whichever way the wind blows
Unto death do I surrender
To cascade into it's loving arms that seem to offer so much comfort
So much relief
Only 'til death may I experience this release

Leaving the pain in the land of the living
To receive the peace in the home of the dead

~D. Renee